So, last week, I started a series on ways to come up with solutions to all sorts of problems. Last week in my first jotting session, I discussed what wakes other people up at 3 am can help. I discussed how you might help this person come up with a solution that could later solve some problem that vexes you.
And I hope that you really can see this happening in real life. But if you can't, it gets brought back up again in today’s post about conversations again. You didn’t expect me to leave that alone, did you?
Well, on to our subject.
I want to explain that when I’m talking about learning from conversations, I’m not just saying learning that you want to change jobs after that ogre of a boss discusses your perceived performance deficiencies. But you might be surprised at what you learn about yourself from these experiences. I’m actually talking about a ton of different kinds of conversations.
Have you ever overheard a conversation of someone who is only complaining? You cringe right. At least you think to yourself, “I am glad I’m not them.”
But how does this help solve your problems? It for one helps you realize you should be more grateful in the moment.
Being grateful helps you become more positive. I know when I’m on the cheerier side, I solve problems in general better.
Learning to create a gratitude list can also help you learn to problem-solve. They help you focus solely on the positive, which in turn makes you more likely to see the world in a completely different way. When you see the positive in situations, you can figure out solutions that you might have overlooked.
Also, negativity breeds negativity and of course positivity creates an abundance of more positivity. That means that finding those types of solutions will be easier over time.
Now you might be asking what the second thing you can learn from the complainer that helps to solve problems. Well, if you can overhear that they are complaining, usually you can pick up on a topic. No! I’m not saying eavesdrop, but if you’ve ever been near a complainer you know that they can oftentimes get elevated, and it is easy to catch one or two words without trying.
Now I know my mind will spin in the direction of a word when it is sent into my consciousness. So what if we let that single word or phrase lead us down a path of discovery.
Here’s the expansion possibility. Every time you take in someone else’s complaint in one or two words, let it swirl around in your brain for 2 to 5 minutes. Not too long. Just enough. Then see how you could solve their complaint, and then figure out how to use it to make your life better.
For example, you hear someone complaining about poor weight loss ability. You think about it. Even though it’s not a huge problem for you, you think about a book you’ve been meaning to read on habit change. That leads you to learning to solve the problem you have with checking your email in bed at three in the morning.
Now that’s problem-solving.
Now, before I sign off, let’s circle back around to the ogre boss. When your boss gives you feedback, and you’ve taken time to cool off. You might realize the entire issue boiled down to you didn’t understand what they were looking for when they gave you the assignment. So, you sit down with them and create a “going forward plan”. The next thing you know, you are getting that promotion and raise. You also might find out that your boss actually is a nice person.
Now that we’ve touched on conversation, we are going to talk about how reading a book can lead to novel and interesting ways to create solutions to problems. And no, I don’t mean you have to read a self-help book every time.
Now Go. Be Safe. Know that you are not alone.