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How to Embrace Change with a Fresh Perspective: Navigating a New Way of Thinking

I am currently going through lots and lots of changes in my life. And I thought I was handling it a little like a grumpy badger being woken up too early. But then I looked up ways to handle the types of fears around the change. Thank goodness for Google. I was shocked to see things I was already doing. And then I paused and asked myself, "Are those helping? Am I forgetting about all the little things that are working?" And then I got out a pencil and paper. You all should know that my journal is always within arm's reach. If you don't know that, picture a little lady sitting with a cup of tea writing furiously in a journal. Oh, and maybe picture her stopping occasionally to chew at the end of her pen. It helps me think. Oh, and I don't damage the pen. Just so, you know. Lol.


You might have seen that those questions are not one of the open-ended questions I told you about the other day. They ask for a yes or no answer. But you will see how these led to open-ended questions and a lot of insight that changed how I looked at my dismay about change, and how I was handling it. It might just help you consider change in a totally different way once you read this.


So to start, can you ask yourself those yes or no questions? Please. You know how I am about trying new things. Obviously from the topic of this post, but I am only asking because I know it will lead you down a great, insightful rabbit hole. And maybe you are a Thumper fan and like going down rabbit holes.


So then I asked myself some valuable open-ended questions. Here are some of the questions I asked myself.

  • What exactly are the fears I am feeling?

  • How do those fears make me feel inside?

  • What are some of the tools I am currently using that could make a dent in my fears?

  • Am I allowing myself to use those tools to manage this new type of fear?

  • What are some little things that benefit me in this situation?

  • Could I bring out some stuff from my toolbox that I can utilize to handle these fears?

  • What are some reasons why this change could lead to improvements in my life and what are those improvements?


Okay, I know that is a lot of questions, but you don't have to ask yourself all of them. You could also come up with some of your own. I just wanted to give you an idea of where I was going with possible open-ended questions you could use.


You might be asking why I asked myself what my fears actually were. Well, I am here to tell you that it was probably one of the more important questions I asked. I was surprised that some of the worries were easy to fix and I was letting them fester. Yes, me, the wannabe positivity expert. I know you all think that I know this stuff. And maybe in a way, I might have thought about it or read about it, but sometimes it just doesn't hit home until I need it. I am sure most of you have felt this way, from time to time.


Now, the next one is important to know what you are feeling. Sometimes, knowing what emotions you are feeling can lead you down the path of easily figuring out what tools you need to use. In this case, I felt scared, overwhelmed, and worried. When I figured those out I noticed that I was tired physically from all the worry. And when I say I was tired, I was exhausted from mainly worrying that I would fail in doing this change. For many people, fear of failure is a big when facing change. I am guessing all of you have felt that kind of fear at one time. Here are some of the other concerns or fears related to change.

  • Fear of the unknown

  • Fear of being unprepared

  • Fear of loss of control


Now, of course, there are many others and you may find how you feel more than just one. I know, I often do.


So, after I recognized the emotions I was feeling, and the reason I was feeling them, I moved on to the big question, "Am I discounting what I am already doing that could make a big impact?"


Of course, the answer was a big, fat yes. I did not see how the things I already did could benefit me in this new situation. For example, I wasn't considering how I needed to look at journaling in a way that there was a benefit for me in this situation. It is something I do every day. So, why wasn't it helping? Well, all I was doing was journaling about my overwhelm. It is a good idea to get feelings out on paper. I completely agree with that. But I wasn't reframing those thoughts at all. I could have been journaling about improvements that could be coming from this change. And yes, sometimes there are only small things. However, couldn't those small things lead to amazing things later on?


So, I have covered a lot of ground so far. I am hoping it is not overwhelming. I only have one tiny thing left. And it's, where to go from here. Maybe the first few ideas don't work out. What do you do next? Well, my suggestion is to go back to your open-ended questions. There is no harm in trying again. And I want to tell you that you might not overcome all the fears or overwhelm. Nothing is a perfect cure. However, when you minimize the negative feelings about change, you might start looking at future changes differently right from the start. It can be mind-blowing how things change in your mind when you think about one single thing differently.


I want you to know that if you have any questions, just put them in the comments below and I will try to help you. Also, you could comment about, what change you are going through and the questions you asked that made you look at it differently. It might help someone else along the way. And isn't that the great part of life just giving someone you might not even know a little help?


Well, I will leave you with all that information to swirl around in your head. I like to picture an all-knowing owl just flying around in there adding great knowledge. You can always think of something else, but it does help to add a little imagery once in a while.



Now go. Be safe. Know that you are not alone.



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Mrs. Tea, thank you for this one. I needed to hear this just now. Particularly the concrete example you offered about how to identify the small positive possibilities that arise from change. I can totally identify with what you describe: thinking and thinking about what’s wrong, but forgetting to take that next step of REFRAMING. Thank you again, I love reading your posts.

-Q

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